This is what I've been thinking through...

Stick with me through this post – it really is profound, at least for me. Maybe it's all been figured out already, but listen a little bit before leaving, because I think I may be have a different conclusion than what is what is currently accepted.

Relational “Drama”, you know what that is. And you probably think you can pick it out when you see it (if you can, good for you). And I think is agreed that people don't like drama; they can put up with with a certain amount of it, but it strains you and you get tired of it. So it's kinda become a cliché, like “I'm tired of drama”. And when you sense drama in a relationship you either go along with it, or you just kinda keep your distance.

I guess I'm thinking about the pictures we have in our mind of relationships. Ask anybody what drama looks like and you'll get synchronized answers; false pretenses, over-reactions, excessive acting, etc. Everyone (generality) seems to accept a common picture. Ask about what love looks like and you'll get a similar result – a commonly accepted picture.

Now, if you want to keep these pictures, if you like your definitions of healthy and unhealthy, then you're welcome to stop reading. Because I'm not going to paint a nice copy of these pictures; I don't like drama – and I think that each picture is just as much drama as the other. I've been in both, and this is the conclusion that I've come to. And I want to explain why.

I think the definition of drama is more than a matter of actions – external/physical things - I think it's internal. I have one term that I believe captures the explanation very well: manufactured scenarios. See, drama happens when someone wants something and acts in such a way to get it. It is a simple case of working towards a preconceived end; working back from result to origin and to discern what steps are most likely to bring about the desired result. It's manipulation, plain and simple. Which, by the way, is actually a good thing to do in some instances – but it's mostly job related, where it doesn't involve manipulating people. When we manipulate people and manufacture things in a relationship we lose the most critical aspect present between two people – trust.

So what is it that we want that would cause us to manipulate and manufacture our way through a relationship? Why do we (consciously, or unconsciously) introduce drama into our lives? For what end are we inflating this imaginary castle? Well, we want to feel good.

Being loved feels good, being in a relationship makes us happy, it satisfies us and gives us a sense of well-being. It doesn't make a difference whether it's the first time you hold hands, the first time you kiss, or the Nth time you have sex – it just makes you happy and naturally, then, you want more. Drama intensifies the experience. You can use everything from cute little notes to breaking up to build the “relationship” that you want – or that you think the other person wants. You can make the relationship play like a chick flick, a romance novel, love song, whatever you want; you can build the story, you can intensify the plot, you can strengthen the narrative – you can write a book. And you do so because the more dramatic the story-line, the more extravagant the outcome.

I should be saying, “me”.

Maybe you don't like my conclusion, maybe you disagree. Oh-well, I may be wrong (I have been), but at least think about this, at least analyze your own relationship (or relationships) to discern if this picture is accurate. I think it probably is – I only know of two relationships in my circle of acquaintances that reflect a completely different picture. That means four people, and all of the others (generality) sit here on this page writing a story - maybe for themselves, maybe for the other person – it's doesn't matter, it's still drama.

I don't want any more. I guess happiness in life will be less intense, but I think the hurt will be less as well. And I'm ready for that trade-off.

I'm tired of drama...