Clearing things up

I wish I could write all that is going on right now in my life. I can't though, there is just too much. And it's good, I guess all my thinking is finally translating into actions. I went to a service on tuesday night and I heard the speaker preach about how the reality of Christ changes everything – and it's the only thing that does. He's right. And sometimes it's me who needs to be taught that again, sometimes God needs to bring me to a place of destruction so that He can say, “now will you let Me do the building?” Haha, Yes Father you may. I want my life to be what You have in mind, not something that I dream up. And my satisfaction comes from seeing myself being used by God, not by what I am doing or experiencing. I want to reach the end of my life, whenever that may be, and not be like Oscar Schindler, who realized he could have saved one more life with money he would have got from selling his gold pin (in Schindler's List) – I want to be satisfied with what my life has been used for, I want to know that I held nothing back, that I wasted nothing. Honestly, I feel as though I have been wasting it, or at least some – but even that some, might make an eternity of difference for someone. And really, I trust that my sense of fulfillment will come from God, as I complete his purpose with my life, great or small. So it doesn't have to be something grand and noticed, I just want to know that I have completed the purpose that God granted me life for. It is my hope that, wherever you are, you will look for God's purpose with your life, and not be taken up with what career or lifestyle may make you “most satisfied”. This is my challenge to any of you who are around my age: many people will tell you to pursue whatever you are good at, or whatever you enjoy doing – and I'm here to tell you that there is a better way. A way that may you may not want to go because you think it means giving up your life (which is built to satisfy you). But that is a lie. The reality is that nothing will satisfy other than what God uniquely created you to do. So pursue your life like you want - what you think will satisfy - and at the end of the day, take my word for it, you'll just end up in a corner cutting yourself in the agony of your emptiness. But, live the life that God designed for you, and you will have a joy that gives you desire continue...

I guess the only question that remains is how do you determine what God wants to use you for. Let me try to answer that, just give me some time...