Hmm, It's been awhile since I've posted anything. I guess it's been less because of lack of material and more because if a lack of time and focus.
Sometimes God requires us to trust - and to only trust. We can't seem to determine what path is the best in all the soul-searching that we do. And we are left to simply make the choice to step through the open door in front of us trusting that God will prepare and supply the means to walk the path beyond. So I'm finally set on going to college, and I finally feel comfortable with being back home in MN; but I'm only trusting and that's all. I don't know if being in MN is where God wants me, and I don't know how I will find myself at Hesston College next fall. But I stepped through the door and now am attempting to discern if that was a mistake or God's will.
The reason why I'm uncertain is because it is easy to confuse the desires of my heart with the promptings of the spirit - and they result in drastically different lives. And I want to be certain that I am not following my heart, but God's spirit. Maybe you've been confused in the same way, and if so, then you know how vulnerable you can be if you're following your heart. But that is not my reason for wanting to follow God's leading - I don't think it is necessarily a good reason to at all. If God has a plan for each person, if He created each of us uniquely for a purpose - then out of a desire to please Him, I want Him to use me for that very end. And it all makes sense; giving our life to Christ, then, means simply that we are living to fulfill His purpose and not our own (not even our best interpretation of what would please Him). Romans 8:28 has become my favorite verse; And we know that all things work together for the good of them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose. Maybe it's one of those verses that people are tempted to not take literally because there is a lot of not working together for good, I know that I didn't take it literally. But I do now, and am therefore convinced that there is a lot of not loving God or being called according to His purpose - and yes I mean among Christians.
And that brings into question what is good and bad. I guess I'm not trying to paint a glowing picture of following God's purpose - many of those that do so are killed. Well, to be honest, I don't think pain and torture - even death - are bad; they are the consequence of sin on the world, but I don't think that consequences are bad. I think the "bad" is something (or things) much closer to home; think like depression, hopelessness, insecurity, unsatisfaction, loneliness, etc - that's what I think is termed bad. Because they are Satan's tools to ensnare and destroy God's creations and God's purposes. And I know that those are much more prevalent in even our church society than what I'm comfortable with.
So what am I saying?
Well...ask God to reveal His purpose to you and pursue that. Maybe that's it, just pray - I think you can be confident that He will be faithful to grant you that request. And expect Him to prepare you for that purpose, maybe pray for that too - He might want to prepare you before He reveals His purpose for you.
P.S. But you'll have to give it all up - or at least I had to. I guess most of what I held (and hold) onto in this life - relationships, belongings, dreams - ties me back and keeps me from moving on. I think it's like that for a lot of people, but please don't let that discourage you - I mean, Jesus gave His life, more than that, He suffered the damnation that each of us should be experiencing, and you're going to let this relationship or that thing keep your focus off of that gift? And why? Because that relationship makes you "feel" good? Because that thing brings you satisfaction?
No...no...
Satan's deceit would have gone far indeed...
Sometimes God requires us to trust - and to only trust. We can't seem to determine what path is the best in all the soul-searching that we do. And we are left to simply make the choice to step through the open door in front of us trusting that God will prepare and supply the means to walk the path beyond. So I'm finally set on going to college, and I finally feel comfortable with being back home in MN; but I'm only trusting and that's all. I don't know if being in MN is where God wants me, and I don't know how I will find myself at Hesston College next fall. But I stepped through the door and now am attempting to discern if that was a mistake or God's will.
The reason why I'm uncertain is because it is easy to confuse the desires of my heart with the promptings of the spirit - and they result in drastically different lives. And I want to be certain that I am not following my heart, but God's spirit. Maybe you've been confused in the same way, and if so, then you know how vulnerable you can be if you're following your heart. But that is not my reason for wanting to follow God's leading - I don't think it is necessarily a good reason to at all. If God has a plan for each person, if He created each of us uniquely for a purpose - then out of a desire to please Him, I want Him to use me for that very end. And it all makes sense; giving our life to Christ, then, means simply that we are living to fulfill His purpose and not our own (not even our best interpretation of what would please Him). Romans 8:28 has become my favorite verse; And we know that all things work together for the good of them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose. Maybe it's one of those verses that people are tempted to not take literally because there is a lot of not working together for good, I know that I didn't take it literally. But I do now, and am therefore convinced that there is a lot of not loving God or being called according to His purpose - and yes I mean among Christians.
And that brings into question what is good and bad. I guess I'm not trying to paint a glowing picture of following God's purpose - many of those that do so are killed. Well, to be honest, I don't think pain and torture - even death - are bad; they are the consequence of sin on the world, but I don't think that consequences are bad. I think the "bad" is something (or things) much closer to home; think like depression, hopelessness, insecurity, unsatisfaction, loneliness, etc - that's what I think is termed bad. Because they are Satan's tools to ensnare and destroy God's creations and God's purposes. And I know that those are much more prevalent in even our church society than what I'm comfortable with.
So what am I saying?
Well...ask God to reveal His purpose to you and pursue that. Maybe that's it, just pray - I think you can be confident that He will be faithful to grant you that request. And expect Him to prepare you for that purpose, maybe pray for that too - He might want to prepare you before He reveals His purpose for you.
P.S. But you'll have to give it all up - or at least I had to. I guess most of what I held (and hold) onto in this life - relationships, belongings, dreams - ties me back and keeps me from moving on. I think it's like that for a lot of people, but please don't let that discourage you - I mean, Jesus gave His life, more than that, He suffered the damnation that each of us should be experiencing, and you're going to let this relationship or that thing keep your focus off of that gift? And why? Because that relationship makes you "feel" good? Because that thing brings you satisfaction?
No...no...
Satan's deceit would have gone far indeed...
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