Minds do change, mine does anyhow. We're people, we're not just heart and mind - we're spirit too. And that's a third factor for everything we do, everyone we love and everywhere we go. I've followed my mind and that doesn't work, I've followed my heart and that doesn't work, and I've followed my spirit - but I keep forgetting that I am, ha. So let's try to remember this time.
I realized that I'm lonely. I have always been, and in a funny way I've tried to keep it that way. I'm not sure why, I just have some attraction to loneliness and darkness, wonder why? Anyways, I think everyone wants to be valued. God is there in my heart, and I think He's in the right place, but there is still a desire for personal friendship. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking sex, or physical closeness (although that is what it is confused for), I'm talking friends, love, value, support. People to walk with side by side with. And we all want that, at least I do. So, anyways I'm the last person that would be saying this, but I'm lonely. Not lost and insecure, just alone, except for a few. So maybe it's more that I'm realizing that I value friendships, and I have only noticed this because I've been separated from them. So you really don't know what you have to it's gone. And I think the thing about the friendship we want is that it involves the mind, the heart, and also the spirit...so we feel supported on all three sides, idk, just what I was thinking...
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So do you want friendship, or do you want to be lonely?
Right now I want friendships, maybe I always have/will. I think my desire for loneliness is simply the fruit of internal dysfunction - the result of "reflex action" goals...I hope that makes sense...
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