I'll take a rain-check on that

I have yet to discover that my plan is better than God's. I act like it a lot, but if you were to crunch the numbers and come up with some stats it would be like a bazillion to none - in God's favor. That's not to say that I am never somewhere that I don't want to be; but in most cases, my ability to accept what comes my way is directly related to where my perspective is. In other words, the more I depend on myself, the harder it is to accept something that will alter my plans.
I guess my tendency is to notice God's presence only when He is changing my plans - and not when He is supporting them. Really, this makes me sort of a hypocrite; and I can easily start to consider God some herald-er of woe, when really He's there all the time opening doors and closing them. And sometimes it can seem like God is only closing the doors to get my attention. I don't know, but I like to think that God is bigger than that - meaning, that He has more than one reason for doing any given action. So, if He closes a door it's probably for more than just to get my attention. And that helps, because it reveals the amount of control that God has over his creation -  and it's something that He uses to help me grow more mature. He's got all this power and instead of making me turn out the way He wants, He uses that power to teach me and instruct me in whatever life situation I'm in at the moment. And that's why His plan is better - not because it's more efficient, but because it more forgiving than mine is.
So as I find myself faced with a set-back, it's better for me to remember that trusting God will result in less bitterness and more grace - and that's a better place to be regardless. 

I'm mumbling

Funny how we take some things for granted when we are young; like health. But we have to mind it eventually - deterioration of our bodies, that is - and that must be a very hard thing to accept. Maybe what is hard for me to accept is that I am limited by something I can not control, and cannot affect one way or another. Actually, it's hardest to accept the fact that I am limited in the things I want to do by something that I cannot influence. So the limitations are really just interruptions; and interruptions are irritating when there are things that need to be done. Anyways, it comes down to just accepting the limits of our frail human bodies with grace - I hope that I can do that...

Appreciation

I'm thinking a lot and I want to organize it somehow into a post that you can read...but it is not best to make decisions when you are weary. So, I'm just gonna wait until I can think.

 - thank you for being someone who considers someone else

It is that which makes us different that draws us together

Ok, I'm talking to the group of people called the body of Christ...

What is the key to being in one accord? You know, like how do we have unity with each other? Well it's not hard to understand that team-work requires common purpose. That is - in order for people to effectively work together, they must agree on a common end to work towards. And consequently, if their seems to be a lack of unity, well, that means people are trying to end up different places. It's pretty easy to do actually; and I think we too often think unity is determined by similarity of process, not on similarity of end. And so we end up spending a lot of time arguing among ourselves trying to convince each other to adopt one process or another that we consider to be "right". Or actually, we become confused as to what our end purpose really is - and we start to think that our personal 'calling' from God is really the purpose for the whole body of Christ. It's a pride thing actually; God gives us a task, or a practical purpose, and we think that it is a 'missing key' that the body must pursue in order to "really see God work in our world." One bit of advice? Let's get over ourselves as Christians; lets stop putting a lot of crying and dramatic emotions in our movies (geewiz, it makes the life a believer look cheesy). This is the world God created, these are the people He made, and His purpose is a lot bigger than your specific calling or "sensitivity". I know most of us believers aren't intentionally ego-laden; it's not like we are trying to be full of ourselves. But I think "religion" has a way of kinda messing up reality. Actually, I think it's too often used in the same way that another might use fame or riches. See, Christianity is not our identity; our calling from God is not our identity; our 'spiritual experience' is not our identity either. We are His creation - that's our identity. But it gets better, see since we messed up in the garden, God granted us the ability to accept a better identity - we can be His children. And our identity is not found in our shell, it's rooted in our heart. Take a lamp shade, its dark without any light inside; but turn the light on and even though it still looks the same, there is something inside it that makes it's whole existence different. Don't worry about fitting a mold, focus on the purpose of the Body - and fulfill God's personal calling for you.

We're in a symphony; play your part - and follow the Conductor

On Sale - buy one, get one please!!

"My patience is wearing thin..."

Interesting phrase. I mean who, like, wakes up and puts on a pair of patience in the morning? And really, it wears thin? Like pants or something? Oh, and should we launder it frequently? Will it shrink? Is it something that we only wear for special occasions? Or is it more like a pair of socks, always there serving a purpose? If we grow, will it cease to fit us? And when it wears out, what then? Do we have to periodically replace it? You know like, "And I'll take one pair of patience, size 14 1/2 please...Oh, that's special order? Well go ahead and order me one then, thanks." And most of all, what kind of activities are the most abrasive on our pair of patience? Should we take it off before we get stressed? Don't we already?

"...It's been an interesting conversation, but I'm really running late. Pardon me while I go try on some patience for size"

Sailing by an ash breeze

Well, maybe tomorrow will bring something different...

You know what? I think it's like this a lot. I mean we do our best to listen and follow whoever is leading us to wherever we are being led. And sometimes I guess we just need to trust; trust that fog will eventually clear away and stuff will make a little more sense; trust that we are headed in the right direction; trust that no news is good news; trust that if we are doing our best and not compromising our own understanding; trust that things will work - and to just consider ourselves impatient, and slip into bed trusting that we are one step closer to wherever we are going. Even when the wind dies and the sails sag, it's time to break out the oars and plod on in whatever direction that we were headed. So whether we've lost wind or sight, or both, we've just got to start rowing and trust that we're headed somewhere...

 ...Carry on dear reader 

A Forgotten Reminder

I think we forget something - quite often actually. I think we get such a sense of urgency in some things that we forget to be patient. You know, our priorities are based on what is most urgent to us; from top down, in descending order, we worry less and less about something (and allot less energy towards). What we forget is to be cautious, because some things that "feel" urgent really aren't urgent at all. See, we need to be aware that feelings can motivate us to attach urgency to something and elevate it to an unhealthy position in our hierarchy of priorities. I suppose that there are many things that can end up being "insubordinate" in this way, but I guess I'm thinking about people. Yeah, maybe you're tired of me talking about relationships - but I spend a lot of time here because I'm trying to figure something out that my society has screwed up. And I'm trying to do this right. 

So, here's the pattern: somebody sees somebody else and, for whatever reason, is attracted to them. And this prompts them to try with some effort to get the object of their affections to attach back to them. That's it in a nutshell (or a few cryptic sentences). Hmm, well I can't disprove anything so far - but I guess my point is deeper than this, it's the thought process that I think is messed up. I know it varies from person to person, but it goes something like this: "Omg, that person is really good looking, and they (insert random activity or hobby or personality here), I really think I would fit well with this person; now how can I get them to like me, what should I do to get their attention cause it's suddenly really important to me that they like me back. Oh, look what how much attention they are giving to that person - I've got to one-up it, lets see what can I do? etc,etc..." You get the picture. 

I like how the most logical and stable people can suddenly lose their perspective of tomorrow and worry only about what would feel best, or be best for them, simply because there is someone they are trying to possess. I guess this is what I mean by "urgency" - the sense that you need to forge a stronger attachment than someone else to the object of your affections, so that your's is the bond that is not broken when everyone starts pulling in opposite directions. 

I don't know about anyone else, but I am trying to pursue patience. And as hard as it is, to trust instead of getting caught up in the "urgency" that I see everywhere. I know the feelings that prompt it, and I think I know why so many people choose that route over patience - it's fear. And fear is a lack of trust - fear is a lack of love...

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear...