It's a deeper question than I can answer in a moment...

I was asked by a friend if if it was right for a mistake to be held against a person. They had messed up, confessed to God (and anyone else involved, I suppose), and moved on. But the consequences have apparently sprung up, bringing up the question they posed to me. I guess the pill wouldn't be hard to swallow, except that the apparent consequences are closed doors - dreams, purposes maybe, that the individual may have to sacrifice. Sounds like the Old Testament, I guess, but what about grace? When we repent doesn't that mean that our transgressions are removed? It's a difficult question to answer, but possibly harder accept...

I wonder if rules/laws are misunderstood; or rather, their purpose is misunderstood. Their purpose is to keep this world in harmony - livable, sustainable, in working condition. Actually, they are for our benefit. Some choices inherently introduce dysfunction and others bring about peace and harmony. I really don't think God picked a side on the day of creation and said, "oh, I want this to be right. And maybe I'll make this wrong," etc. I think the principles of functionality have been around as long as He has - that's what He is. Alright, so where am I going with this? Well, we can make choices today; God lets us do that. And, because there is sin in the world, there will always be an option that creates dysfunction and turmoil.  Some rules don't deal directly with relationships with other people; they're intended more to keep operating harmony in the world: you know, speed limits, schooling requirements, and such. If those rules are broken - you may find that there are few long-term consequences. But I think the majority of rules - or I'll say principles (because often they are God-given, but not legally enforced) - are in regards to how we relate to other people. God knows exactly what makes His creation dysfunctional and He is saddened when we "malfunction". A mistake in this area can be forgiven, but serious wounds will scar, and you will likely find that the consequences haunt you long after the mistake was forgiven and put out of sight.

Um, two thoughts...
One; about the mistake - the more trust that was broken, the further the consequences will haunt you in life...

And the other thing; We used to be in perfect harmony, but with sin in the world now I think the focus is no longer to re-create that scenario - that's God's job. Instead, I think our focus should be internal harmony (so to speak). We will no longer glorify God as a planet, but we can do it individually; and that is the best witness we can be...

Self-evident Truths

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness...

Some things in life are elusive - and it's hard to teach about them, or discuss them without sounding somewhat un-realistic. The writers of our Declaration of Independence felt very strongly that God created us for a certain purpose, in which is the pursuit of happiness. Interesting that they should precede happiness with pursuit; actually it's not that amazing - happiness seems elusive, so it is to be pursued. 

Interest aside, I think that pursuit was/is the wrong word to use. Pursue is too much like buy or attain, words that you use when going to the grocery or mall. Hang it all peoples, happiness is not a commodity, it's a fruit - a blessing. Does a tree think, "I want an apple, I want an apple?" No, it's too busy growing to be worried about what it's going to get. So, what am I saying? Well, I'm saying that happiness is the fruit of the right perspective. Oh, and another thing, I don't think it applies to attitude (thats cheerful, a choice so I'm told), I think it applies to life as a whole. It's not supposed to be a moment by moment thing, like Cold or Hot; so, to judge your happiness off of how your day is going is like trying to figure out how long it will take you to run to the store on the tread mill - it's not the right question to be asking. 

Back to perspective...

What I mean by "right perspective" is the correct depth of focus in any given scenario. Focus too close and it's gets really...well, have you ever taken binoculars or a spotting scope and looked around the house with it? I mean it's like, "whoa, what am I looking at," and it's really hard not to be disoriented and confused. I guess that's the picture of a focus that is too close. Get too un-attached - focus too far away  - and it's like inverting the spotting scope while looking out the window - you can't see anything well enough to identify it. But hey, don't get ahead of me; it's not really about balance between the two extremes - at least that isn't what we should worry about. See, God's our camera-man. He's got the perfect perspective. 

And another thing. I am happiest when I am looking at my life behind, and God's will ahead. I think it works kinda like this. Bad things happen and our responses take somewhat of a logarithmic curve off them; you know, start out high and gradually lessen. Whereas good things follow an exponential path - or something similar. So, in the moment, we are often more severely affected by "bad" things (hurt, betrayal, loneliness, loss, etc) and if we have a perspective that is moment by moment, then we're in for a roller-coaster ride at least. But if we back up a bit and look behind us and we'll notice that the lights in our past are much more noticeable than the darkness. Maybe not, I suppose; it helps (maybe it's critical) to be in a relationship with God; so if your un-happy and you don't have a relationship with Him, well, you know the first thing you have to do...

Does any of this make sense?

Another Sojourner

My traces in the sand are quickly erased
The blowing from the dunes leaves me without a trace
All that I've left behind and buried in the sand
Is a chapter that will be left closed - a slave so I can stand
The vacant winds will blow for now and bury what is past
And carry on the memories of what I hoped would last
Amid the dusk and faltering light I try to walk my best
Lest the wind catch up to me and bury me as the rest
On ahead I believe I'll find a haven in the sand
An oasis where I'll find some aid to carry me to land...


(I was trying different tempos, to keep from sounding monotonous. I think this one may turn out to be one of my favorites - I like how it flows uninterrupted, and all the words seem to belong - Casey Allen)

Finishing it up - Kinda...

I will say my thought...

I think a lot of life comes down to just choosing a way and running with it. I don't think God designed us to live in uncertainty and I know that He is not glorified by our bewilderment. And maybe a lot of the choices that young adults have to make simply come down to choosing one or the other and committing to do the best we can do on that path. Maybe God speaks directly to some, but that hasn't been my experience and so I am as uncertain as anyone. I know that I have a tendency to over-react, over-commit, and over think; and that makes me wonder if I am making this too hard for myself in trying to make the "right" choice - maybe it's just about not making the wrong choice. And the wrong choice would simply be the foolish one(s); so, what would wisdom dictate, becomes the real question. But you can still take a lot of data into consideration when trying to make the wise decision, so the first decision would be - what am I going to take into consideration when I make my choices; where are my priorities. I doesn't make it easier to let go of things you value, but it at least gives you a reason...maybe that's all I'll get.

just thinking

I guess I don't understand God. I know we're not supposed to be able to, but I like to think that we are able to be close enough to Him that our desires are changed to match His. However it is, I'm not there yet. And another thing, I like to think that if we are close to God then our heart, soul and mind would be in agreement with each other when it comes to making decisions. And if there isn't agreement there - if there is turmoil instead - then something has become more important to me (to either my heart, soul, or mind) than God and His will for me. So I guess you could say that I am there - unsurprisingly - and I need to determine what has become that idol. But that's not the main struggle for me right now, it's that I am afraid of what that idol may be, maybe it will be something that I can't bear to release, something that would break me to let go of. I know that God gives us strength to endure whatever He puts us through, but that hasn't always been enough to help me endure; not that He failed me, simply that there was some failure on my part. It hurts to release things, and it seems to be little consolation "that God will supply all my needs" - because it still hurts.
But there is a root somewhere; something that is causing the paranoria.